


Hunter's Bad Day

by AchillesMonkey



Series: Care and Comfort - AoS Non-Sexual Age Play Stories [5]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Age Play, Alcohol, British Slang, Caretaking, Comfort Toys, Daddy Coulson, Drunk Hunter, During/Post 3x06, F/M, Fitz thinks they're cursed, Gen, Hunter & Fitz BrOTP, Hunter is Captain of the Good Ship FitzSimmons, Hunter thinks that's ridiculous, Implied vomiting, Lance Hunter Needs a Hug, Little Hunter, Missing Moments, Non-Sexual Age Play, Platonic Bed-sharing, rated for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 04:13:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6939178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AchillesMonkey/pseuds/AchillesMonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some missing moments during/after episode 3x06. Fitz and Hunter catch up, and later Coulson takes care of a drunk Lance. Rated for language. Contains non-sexual age play.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hunter's Bad Day

**Author's Note:**

> Episode 3x06 was the episode that convinced me Hunter is a Little. He turned into a hyperactive five-year-old when he was taken off the mission: annoying Fitz in the lab, begging to go on the mission with Daisy and Mack, completely disregarding impulse control when dealing with Banks. Yeah, it was meant to be.
> 
> Also, Fitz and Hunter use the term "get off" in this fic, which from what I understand, means to make out in the UK, and not something more as would be implied in the US.

Hunter watches May and Coulson walk away, guilt and disappointment welling up inside him. He knows he made the most logical choice when he decided to take that shot. Andrew would have been hurt even if Hunter had stood down because Ward is a bastard who enjoys hurting people. There’s no way he would have called off the attack on Andrew, but it seems like he’s the only one who understands that. Now Mum and Dad are angry with him and he’s grounded.

He makes his way toward his bedroom. If he’s not allowed to see Andrew then he should probably take a shower. He’d been trapped in that boot smelling of rotten bananas and then he’d sweated a lot while taking on the Hydra goons and Ward. He takes a whiff of himself as he walks, wrinkling his nose at the smell. Yeah, take a shower has definitely moved to the top of his very short to-do list now that he’s not allowed to go back out after Ward.

“Hunter!” Fitz is coming out of his bedroom and grins at the sight of his friend. Hunter smiles back. It’s good to see one person who doesn’t hate his guts.

“Fitz!” Hunter goes up and hugs him. “It’s good to see you, mate.”

“Ugh,” Fitz says, pulling away from the hug, a disgusted look on his face. “Why do you smell of rotten bananas? And why are you dressed like a chav?”

Hunter sighs. “It’s a long story.”

“Did you get Ward?”

Hunter scowls at the floor. “I took the shot, but I only injured him, and he got away. And now May is pissed off at me because Ward was threatening Andrew and Andrew ended up hurt. And Coulson says I’m off the mission, so I can’t even go finish the job.” Fitz makes a noise of sympathy and puts a hand on Hunter’s shoulder. Hunter glances at it and then grins at Fitz. “Enough about me though, mate. I heard you got Jemma back, you bloody beauty!”

“Yeah,” Fitz grins, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“What is it?” Hunter asks.

Fitz sighs. “She has a space boyfriend.”

“ _What_?”

Fitz grips Hunter’s arm and tugs him into Fitz’s bedroom, closing the door. “She wasn’t alone on that planet. There was someone else there too, Will Daniels, an astronaut. He helped her survive, but he’s still trapped there, so I’m trying to figure out a way to get him back.”

“Fuck a duck!” Hunter exclaims. “That’s—that’s—that’s not at all what I was expecting to hear, mate. Are you sure he’s a boyfriend?”

Fitz nods, frowning. “She told me. They got off.”

Hunter swears again in surprise. He really can’t picture innocent little Simmons getting off with anyone. Not that he wants to picture that, mind. He’d just always assumed that Fitz and Simmons were meant for each other based on the stories Daisy had told him of what they were like before Fitz’s injury. And Fitz had spent months finding a way to bring her home. You just wouldn’t do that for someone you’re not meant to be with.

“Besides,” Fitz continues, “I don’t think me and Jemma are meant to be.”

“ _What_?” Hunter cries, incredulous. “Fitz, mate—”

“I took her out,” Fitz interrupts. “To that restaurant, Lierre. I wanted it to be as comfortable for her as possible. I bought out the entire restaurant so there wouldn’t be any distractions.”

“Nice!”

“She started crying when the waiter poured the wine. I thought it was because she was still adjusting to being back on Earth, but now I know it was because she was reminded of Will.”

“Will had wine on the planet?”

Fitz shrugs. “She said they found a bottle, but that it had fermented to pure vinegar.”

“Damn, I really want to hear the whole story.”

Fitz scowls at him. “I think we’re cursed.”

Hunter starts to laugh and then stops when he realizes Fitz isn’t joking. “Cursed? Really, mate? I thought you didn’t believe in that sort of thing?”

“I don’t,” Fitz says. “Not really, but you can’t deny the fact that it seems like the universe wants to keep us apart.”

Before Hunter can start listing all the ways it seems like the universe actually wants them together, a knock sounds on Fitz’s door. “Agent Fitz, sir, Agent May is requesting that you provide technological back-up on her mission with Agent Morse.”

“Copy that,” Fitz responds. He claps Hunter on the back. “Duty calls. I’ll see you later?”

“Yeah,” Hunter agrees, absent-mindedly. Agent May and Agent Morse?

“Go get a shower; you stink!” Fitz tells him as he heads out the door.

 _Shit!_ Hunter realizes as Fitz leaves. _May’s dragged Bobbi into this mess!_ He takes off running toward the hangar.

~*~*~*~

Hunter is lying on the couch in the dark, empty common room, flipping through the channels on the television so quickly that he barely registers what each one is showing. There are about eight empty beer bottles on the floor next to him and he holds another half-empty one on his stomach. He sits up a little so he can take a drink. _This is how you’re s’posed to drink_ he thinks, taking another gulp of the beer. _Beer and telly and no stupid mums telling you to go to bed._

He’s stopped on some sort of nature documentary. Baby bears are wrestling each other and he giggles at them. The overhead light turns on and Hunter winces at the sudden brightness. Once he’s adjusted to it, he turns to see Coulson standing in the doorway of the common room. “Coulson!” Hunter crows, smiling happily and waving. He points to the television. “Bears! They—they’s wres’ling.” He starts giggling again.

“I see that,” Coulson says evenly. He enters the room and reaches for the beer in Hunter’s hand. “I think you’ve had enough, Hunter.”

“No!” Hunter cries, snatching it away from Coulson. “Iss mine!” In his haste to keep the bottle out of Coulson’s reach, he tips it over, spilling beer all down himself. “Oh no!” Hunter cries sadly. “I—I spill’d it.”

Coulson reaches for the bottle again and this time Hunter lets him take it. “I’m going to get you some water, Hunter,” he tells him. “Can you sit up for me?”

Coulson bends down to pick up all the beer bottles on the floor while Hunter does his best to sit up. The world spins as he does and he lets out a groan feeling his stomach turn in protest at the movement. Coulson drops the bottles and rushes to get a trash can, putting it under Hunter’s head just in time. Hunter is too busy being sick to notice Coulson leave the room, but when he’s finished Coulson is standing there with a couple bottles of water. He takes the beer bottles to the recycling and changes out the trash can’s bag while Hunter drinks the water.

“Think you can move?” Coulson asks after Hunter’s finished both bottles.

Hunter stands up carefully. He feels a bit disoriented and reaches out to Coulson to help him balance. They go back to Coulson’s bedroom after stopping by the kitchen to get another water bottle. Hunter goes to use the toilet and brush his teeth while Coulson looks for pajamas Hunter can change into.

“Daisy’s mad at you,” Lance announces as he leaves the bathroom. “Iss good you weren’t home when we got back.”

“Where did you go?” Coulson asks, bringing one of his t-shirts and a pair of sweatpants over to the bed.

Lance giggles again. “Iss a secret!” he says delightedly. “We went on a—a secret mission.”

“Then you should probably give a mission report to the director,” Coulson suggests. “Do you want some help changing, Lance?”

“No,” Lance says as he unbuttons his jeans and pushes them to the floor. “I can—I can—” he ends up tripping as he tries to get them off his legs, falling hard to the floor. “Ow,” he complains, pouting and looking up at Coulson. “Dad, I fell.”

“I see that. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Lance says. He glares at his trousers. “Naughty jeans!” he scolds, shaking a finger.

Coulson snickers as he kneels down in front of Lance, and the laugh lines around his eyes stand out sharply. “Can I help?” he asks, reaching for the jeans. This time Lance nods. Coulson pulls the jeans off of his legs and helps him get his feet into the right holes of the sweatpants. Lance grabs his hands and Coulson stands up, tugging Lance to his feet as he does so. Lance pulls the sweatpants up and then lifts his arms for Coulson to take his shirt off. Coulson puts the clean shirt over Lance’s head and takes the dirty clothes to the hamper. “So, how about that mission report, Agent Lance?” he asks, opening one of the water bottles and handing it to Lance.

Lance takes a drink before answering. “Daisy thought Banks might be Lash, so we—we tracked ’im down, but it turns out—it turns out—that—he’s not. He’s jus’ a bloody boring man. He doesn’ even take any selfies, Dad!”

“How do you know he isn’t Lash?”

“We took a blood sample. Got—got Jemma ta test it.”

“He gave you a blood sample?”

“Not will—willin—willing—willingerly,” Lance admits. He takes another drink. “I hadda ICE ’im. And then I punched him.”

Coulson raises an eyebrow. He’ll need to have words with Hunter when he isn’t Lance, or drunk. “So why is Daisy mad at me?”

“Banks got a text. We went to that ATCU facil’ty and saw that Inhuman in the orange goop. And we saw you there with that Price lady.”

“How did you see that?”

“Daisy stole one o’ Fitz’s new DWARFs. He added cloaking to ’em.”

Coulson makes a mental note to have words with Agent Johnson as well. “Anything else?”

“Are you datin’ that Price lady, Dad? Is she gonna be our stepmom? Daisy—Daisy’ll be even more angrier if she is!” Lance starts giggling again and Coulson rolls his eyes. “Oh! I got ta drive,” Lance tells him, smiling. “I like ta drive, Dad. Iss fun.”

“You didn’t drink and drive, did you?”

“No!” Lance looks insulted. “I woul’n’t do that, Dad. I di’n’t have any beer until we were back home.”

“Good,” Coulson pats Lance on the shoulder. “Finish up your water. It’s time for bed.” Coulson stands up and goes into the bathroom.

Lance scoffs to himself. _Always bedtime with those two_ he thinks. _Can’t a man just drink and watch telly in peace?_ _Telly…_ He looks around until he spots the remote for Coulson’s television on top of the dresser and goes to get it, pressing the power button. He wants to find out what happens to the baby bears.

He’s just found the right channel when Coulson comes out of the bathroom. “Turn it off, please, Lance,” the man requests as he removes his left hand.

“But, _Daaaad_ ,” Lance whines. “I wanna see the baby bears. They were _wres’lin’_ remember?”

Coulson sighs and rubs his eyes. “Five minutes,” he says, “and then you turn it off.”

“Ten minutes?” he tries. He knows he wouldn’t even get the offer of five minutes if May was there, but Coulson is a bit more lenient. Lance just isn’t sure exactly how lenient.

“We could turn it off right now,” Coulson suggests, moving toward the television.

“Five is fine,” Lance says quickly. Okay, so not very lenient, but still more lenient than May.

“Thought so,” Coulson says. “Drink your water while you watch.”

The five minutes go by way too quickly for Lance’s liking. Coulson turns the television off and Lance goes to use the toilet again before climbing into bed, lying on his stomach. He tries to go to sleep, he really does, but he can’t turn his thoughts off. There hadn’t been any updates about Bobbi and May’s mission when they’d returned to the Playground. He can’t help but worry about them, even May. He knows they can take care of themselves, but Bobbi is missing half a lung, and he doesn’t want May to get hurt or die when things are bad between them.

Lance turns his head so that he’s facing Coulson. “Dad?”

“Yes, Lance?”

“Did you hear anything about Bobbi and May?”

“They found the Von Strucker kid,” Coulson answers. “They’re on their way back; they’ll get home tomorrow.”

“They’re okay?”

“Yeah, they’re okay.”

Lance is relieved. He’s silent for a few minutes. “Dad?”

“Yes, Lance?”

“How long is Mum gonna be mad at me?”

“I don’t know, Lance. May and Andrew, well, their relationship isn’t that different from you and Bobbi.”

“I hadda take the shot, Dad.”

“I know, Lance.” Coulson rolls onto his side so that he’s facing Lance and places a hand on his back. “Can we talk about it in the morning, please? When you’re more sober and we’re both more awake?”

“Okay,” Lance agrees. Coulson pats Lance’s back and then rolls back over. Lance closes his eyes and tries to fall asleep. “Dad?”

“Mmm?” Coulson hums. He’s nearly asleep.

“I want Toby.”

“Go get him,” Coulson says.

“’Kay.” Lance gets out of bed and makes his way to his bedroom. The halls are dark and silent and it’s a little unnerving. He’s glad when he reaches his bedroom. “C’mon, Toby,” he mutters, picking up the dinosaur. “Let’s go back to Dad.” He spots one of his Nerf guns on top of his dresser and grabs it. “Just in case there’s any monsters,” he tells Toby.

He and the dinosaur make it back to Coulson’s room without being attacked and Lance slips the Nerf gun under his pillow as he gets back in bed. He cuddles Toby close, closes his eyes, and this time he manages to fall asleep.

~*~*~*~

His sleep isn’t at all restful. He’s plagued by dreams of Andrew dying, of May telling him that she hates him and will never forgive him, of Bobbi yelling at him for being reckless, of Coulson telling him to leave SHIELD for good. He wakes with a gasp as Coulson’s alarm goes off. He sits up, rubbing his eyes, and he can’t shake the feelings of guilt and despair that had invaded his dreams.

He doesn’t talk while they get ready for the day. He sees Coulson giving him concerned looks, but he tries to keep his dreams to himself until he just can’t stand it anymore. “Would you have fired me?” he blurts out as he pours milk over his bowl of cereal.

“What?”

“If Andrew had died, would you have fired me? Would I have had to leave SHIELD?”

They take their breakfast to the kitchen table. “If Andrew had died, I’d have pulled you from the mission and benched you while we assessed exactly what happened and what other choices could have been made, just like we’re doing now.”

“Oh,” Hunter says. “What would it take to get fired?”

Coulson looks at him, eyebrows furrowed. “Are you looking to get fired?”

“No,” Hunter answers quickly. “I just want to make sure I know exactly how bad I have to screw up before you make me leave.”

“Hunter,” Coulson says, his tone serious. “Look at me.” Hunter meets the director’s gaze. “If you ever did anything truly bad, I would lock you in a cell before I even thought about firing you. The only way you’re leaving SHIELD is if you choose to leave. Understand?”

Hunter nods. “Yes, sir.”

Agent Koenig enters the kitchen holding a file. “Director, we just got a mission report from Agent May. They’re due to land in approximately an hour. And Ms. Price left a message saying that everything has been arranged.”

“Thank you, Billy,” Coulson says, taking the file from him. “Please let Agent Johnson know that I want her to report to my office in an hour.”

“Yes, sir,” Koenig responds and leaves the kitchen.

“Looks like Bobbi took out Kebo,” Coulson comments as he reads through May’s report. “Ouch, electrocution in the swimming pool. That is not a nice way to go.”

“Well, Kebo was not a nice man,” Hunter comments. He finishes his cereal and puts the bowl into the dishwasher. “See you around, Director,” he says, grinning as he makes his way out the door.

Since May isn’t there to stop him, he goes to find Andrew. “Hey, Doc,” he greets the man, who is looking a lot better than when he was first brought in. “How’re you feeling?”

“I’m recovering,” Andrew says, smiling at Hunter.

“I just want to say I’m sorry,” Hunter tells him. “I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“I know, Hunter,” Andrew says. “I’m sure you made the right call. I think that Ward would have attempted to murder me even if you hadn’t tracked him down. Did you know that he planted someone in one of my classes?”

“Von Strucker?” Hunter asks. Andrew nods. “Yeah, I heard May and Bobbi found him.”

“I guess I should go speak to Coulson,” Andrew comments. “Do you know if he’s in his office?”

“He was finishing breakfast last I saw him, so he should be up there soon.”

“Good. Thank you, Hunter.”

“Thank you, Doc. I’m glad you’re doing better.”

Hunter heads to his room to get his tablet. He wants to look up that documentary about the bears. He’s pretty sure Fitz and Simmons would like to watch it too. Maybe he can suggest it to Fitz as something they can do together. _Cursed_ he thinks and scoffs at the idea. _The universe can go fuck itself if it thinks FitzSimmons aren’t meant to be._

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! And thanks to those who leave kudos/comments! 
> 
> Random question: Does anyone know if there's a confirmed date for Fitz's birthday? Because I’ve seen something about his birthday being in August (I think from a deleted scene?) and something else about his birthday being the same as Iain’s (I think it was on an ID card?). I know Simmons’ and Ward’s birthdays are the same as their actors, which makes me want to lean towards giving Fitz Iain’s birthday, but does anyone know for sure? I'm planning out another fic for this series that takes place around Christmas/New Year's and I need to decide if I'm gonna include a Fitz's birthday chapter or not.


End file.
